The Negotiator
Ok. So basically, lately I have realized that even though as women, we have the most amazing talents, we are really bad at misinterpreting the things that guys do. It's like we find some way to twist around their words and actions to make them MEAN something. And even worse, we will take the worst, most ignorant words and actions and twist them into things that seem to mean something GOOD. No! Stop it!
I am the queen of overanalyzing. Ask about me. Anyone who knows me will tell you.
He's not the one for you if.....
*While you guys are ALWAYS on the phone together....strangely he never has "time" to call before say, about, hmmmm 1 in the morning!
*He would see you more during the day, but he is always working. But while he is always at work....its funny that he has no car, no food to eat, and asked you to borrow twenty dollars til he gets paid[ notice he didnt say WHEN he gets paid. Probably another one who thinks he's gonna be a rapper. Lord help us!]
*He hits you. I'm not even going to elaborate on this, because I'll get extremely upset. All I know is that if he hits you in a state of anger, anger...anger is not an excuse. Because people live their whole lives being angry. Let that go NOW. Otherwise, I'll be forced to beat some sense into you. Which, while hypocritical, you gotta admit...if you let some guy get away with it, I don't have to worry!
*He makes "little jokes" that would really hurt your feelings if you didn't tell yourself that they are just little jokes. People who love you, won't even kid around about anything that would make you sad or make you think you aren't good enough. Because you are. And you deserve to be treated like it.
*He doesnt introduce you to the people who are important to him. This goes double if you've been together for more than 6 months....point blank, a dude sticking around for 6 months is a big deal. It's his way of saying, "You are important to me, I adore you, and you are more than worth my time." That's how he feels about the people he loves. So it only makes sense that he would want all of his loved ones to get to know each other. So be cautious. If he's not introducing you...who did they already meet?!?!
*He fronts. For example, if you arent exclusive yet, and he's running around claiming you....while its flattering to know that he is so juiced to be the one talking to you and all, it's just plain rude to put labels on things without understanding what they are. You need to both come together to define what you have going on...and if he's saying something else to people.....snip,snip!!
*He is never consistent. A guy who cannot maintain any aspect of his life cannot maintain a relationship. It's another kind of routine in life. And if he has no regard for routines, he's probably not going to be able to give you the attention you need. And so many girls are saying "That's cool! I don't need a lot of attention!! He can leave me be til I want him around!" Um....no! Stop lying!! Because you know when you do want him, and you call, and his phone is off because he doesnt pay his bills on time because he's too busy wandering through life and acting like nothing matters....you're gonna be an angry woman.
*He'll lie about ANYTHING. Jesus. I mean, if its raining outside and you tell me its 75 degrees and dry with no clouds, I'm gonna wonder. People lie, I know. But there is no sense in lying about retarded stuff. If he can't be honest about the fact that he's really going out with his boys and not his Grandma like he said, just because he "thought you'd be mad," theres a problem!! Anyone who feels like he has to lie to you, or doesnt respect you enough to be honest with you, is wasting your time. And you know how I feel about wasting time! Let him go.
*He's addicted. And I don't necessarily mean to you [maybe you like the clingy type,it aint for me, but hey! Party on.] I mean, if you rarely have any type of contact with him where he is not drunk as a skunk or so high in the sky that he can't get to you. I understand everyone has a vice and it seems like you can't meet anyone who doesnt drink, smoke, gamble, or just need head so bad that they have to recruit all of San Bernardino's youth to facilitate themselves. But that doesn't change the fact that you need to devote your time and affection to someone who knows their limits. Drugs and alcohol affect judgement. And judgement is a big part of being in a relationship because you expect him to know what NOT to do to hurt you. So, that being said, when his excuse for everything he does To hurt you links to "Babe, I was so faded.I didn't even know her name! See? She doesnt matter to me!" or even simple things like "I was gonna call you back, but I was sooooooooooo faded!", think about things a little. Because you can't live your whole life drowning in booze or clouded in smoke. And you can't be a good part of someone else's either.
The list goes on....but I think I hit the basic non-neogotiables. Make your own revisions and decisions, and please share!!!Thanks!
Til Next Time! smooches! XOXO
I am the queen of overanalyzing. Ask about me. Anyone who knows me will tell you.
He's not the one for you if.....
*While you guys are ALWAYS on the phone together....strangely he never has "time" to call before say, about, hmmmm 1 in the morning!
*He would see you more during the day, but he is always working. But while he is always at work....its funny that he has no car, no food to eat, and asked you to borrow twenty dollars til he gets paid[ notice he didnt say WHEN he gets paid. Probably another one who thinks he's gonna be a rapper. Lord help us!]
*He hits you. I'm not even going to elaborate on this, because I'll get extremely upset. All I know is that if he hits you in a state of anger, anger...anger is not an excuse. Because people live their whole lives being angry. Let that go NOW. Otherwise, I'll be forced to beat some sense into you. Which, while hypocritical, you gotta admit...if you let some guy get away with it, I don't have to worry!
*He makes "little jokes" that would really hurt your feelings if you didn't tell yourself that they are just little jokes. People who love you, won't even kid around about anything that would make you sad or make you think you aren't good enough. Because you are. And you deserve to be treated like it.
*He doesnt introduce you to the people who are important to him. This goes double if you've been together for more than 6 months....point blank, a dude sticking around for 6 months is a big deal. It's his way of saying, "You are important to me, I adore you, and you are more than worth my time." That's how he feels about the people he loves. So it only makes sense that he would want all of his loved ones to get to know each other. So be cautious. If he's not introducing you...who did they already meet?!?!
*He fronts. For example, if you arent exclusive yet, and he's running around claiming you....while its flattering to know that he is so juiced to be the one talking to you and all, it's just plain rude to put labels on things without understanding what they are. You need to both come together to define what you have going on...and if he's saying something else to people.....snip,snip!!
*He is never consistent. A guy who cannot maintain any aspect of his life cannot maintain a relationship. It's another kind of routine in life. And if he has no regard for routines, he's probably not going to be able to give you the attention you need. And so many girls are saying "That's cool! I don't need a lot of attention!! He can leave me be til I want him around!" Um....no! Stop lying!! Because you know when you do want him, and you call, and his phone is off because he doesnt pay his bills on time because he's too busy wandering through life and acting like nothing matters....you're gonna be an angry woman.
*He'll lie about ANYTHING. Jesus. I mean, if its raining outside and you tell me its 75 degrees and dry with no clouds, I'm gonna wonder. People lie, I know. But there is no sense in lying about retarded stuff. If he can't be honest about the fact that he's really going out with his boys and not his Grandma like he said, just because he "thought you'd be mad," theres a problem!! Anyone who feels like he has to lie to you, or doesnt respect you enough to be honest with you, is wasting your time. And you know how I feel about wasting time! Let him go.
*He's addicted. And I don't necessarily mean to you [maybe you like the clingy type,it aint for me, but hey! Party on.] I mean, if you rarely have any type of contact with him where he is not drunk as a skunk or so high in the sky that he can't get to you. I understand everyone has a vice and it seems like you can't meet anyone who doesnt drink, smoke, gamble, or just need head so bad that they have to recruit all of San Bernardino's youth to facilitate themselves. But that doesn't change the fact that you need to devote your time and affection to someone who knows their limits. Drugs and alcohol affect judgement. And judgement is a big part of being in a relationship because you expect him to know what NOT to do to hurt you. So, that being said, when his excuse for everything he does To hurt you links to "Babe, I was so faded.I didn't even know her name! See? She doesnt matter to me!" or even simple things like "I was gonna call you back, but I was sooooooooooo faded!", think about things a little. Because you can't live your whole life drowning in booze or clouded in smoke. And you can't be a good part of someone else's either.
The list goes on....but I think I hit the basic non-neogotiables. Make your own revisions and decisions, and please share!!!Thanks!
Til Next Time! smooches! XOXO
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