Ok. So let's recap really quickly. We now know that the key is to make a guy call you. Hopefully you understood where I was coming from on the concept. If not, I'm gonna need you to get in my inbox ASAP and I am almost positive I can fix that!
So now the question is "Well Sondra, what now?"
Or if you happen to be one of my close friends, your thought is probably something like "If this guy doesn't call me, I'ma kill Sondra!!!"
Whooooooooooooooa. Lol. First of all, no matter who you are, it is important that you realize something. If this dude doesn't call you, it's his loss. I don't care what the situation is. If you made it plain as day that you WERE NOT going to call him, gave him your number (clearly showing your interest, because you don't give it to someone you don't want to call you.), and you are still waiting to hear from him two weeks later, he's certifiably stupid. After all, passing up someone with the kind of confidence you showed, and not making a move? Not a good look!
So move on. There are millions of men in this world. Waiting for the stupid one is just silly. And should you ever run into him again and come into conversation….bring it up. Because I am so tired of girls saying "I'm just gonna act like nothing happened." You don't have a REAL history with this fool! You don't have to pretend!! BE REAL. And reality is, you were waiting for his foolish behind to call. And maybe if you bring it up…he'll find your number again….ring a ling…..lol. Now. On to lesson two:
"The First Phone Call"
Let me start by saying that I am sure most of you don't freeze up like a fifth grader just because there is a guy on the other line. But even still, I think this lesson is an important reminder of silly mistakes we make without even thinking about them. So read on, but don't get too worried if you know that you spill your WHOLE life story, or always end up hearing "Ummm, so, I'm sorry to interrupt but I TOLD YOU I gotta GO!" We are going to fix that! And I'm gonna ask you nicely to never in your life bore a dude that much.
I don't believe that men are not communicators. I just think that they aren't very GOOD at communicating. Sometimes, we tend to treat them like cavemen, but I'm sure you know that all you have to do is interrupt his game of XBOX to learn that he really does know how to say more than "Ugga Ugga." So let's throw that out the window. Girls can talk for hours about nothing. Because you start talking about something and before you even get to the point, you go off on a tangent. "Girl I was looking at those shoes to match my orange top….you know I got that top on sale at Nordstrom's? They always have the best sales! ….and it's better than the swapmeet…you know the swapmeet be ripping poor folks off…..did you hear about that family on extreme home makeover? They were so poor!" Goodness…it can go on forever. But I still don't know if she even bought the damn shoes.
Guys don't play that. It's almost always directly to the point. TRUST ME ON THIS! I dealt with a guy that I talked to all the time…but on the phone, I was impressed if the conversation lasted more that 3 minutes. "Hey Miss Jo…are you gonna study for that Econ test tomorrow?" "Yes, I am, because you don't so you gotta get the answers somehow right?" "Man, why you gotta say that? But you right." "I know!(laugh sweetly) What are you doing?" "Aight, cool. I'm watchin the game. See you tomorrow. Thanks!"
[Insert "Dang….for real?" and a few assorted curse words and references to monkeys here. But that's what I get for being everyone's cheat sheet.]
Sidenote: YES. I just took it back to high school. And what?!?!
Here is what I need you to do. When he calls(because he will), I wait for the old-fashioned "three rings" (or halfway through the chorus of a Gucci song, with my cell phone) before I answer. When you answer….put a little chaos in your voice. I don't care if you are sitting on the couch painting your nails! Sound busy…because you won't have a thing to talk about if you aren't. You'll probably still make due, but with a lot of weird pauses and "oh's." Not cute. Watch this:
Ring….Ring!
You:[even tho you were blasting Spice girls and singing "SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!"] Hello?
Him: Hello? Um is this Sondra?
You: Yes, who is this?
Him: Oh, what's good? This is Richard from the other night….What are you doing?
You: Oh Hey! Nothing much, I've got this killer headache and my stomach is making these bubbly noises, so of course I've been in and out of the bathroom all day…but….
STOP!! THAT WAS A TEST! AND I KNOW YOU ARE PROBABLY LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY LIKE ME RIGHT NOW, BUT ITS NOT FUNNY WHEN YOU THINK OF THE FACT THAT SOME PEOPLE REALLY MESS UP LIKE THAT! HECK NO! DON'T YOU DARE! I WILL PERSONALLY COME HIT YOU UPSIDE THE HEAD!
Now then….back to business.
You: Oh, hi Richard. I'm doing good. Just got back from the gym and I'm trying to decide what to make for dinner. How about you?(You like how I put food in there huh? They weren't lying when they said the way is through his stomach. Now you've got him thinking.)
Him: Oh man, you cook? That's what's up. What are you thinking about making?
You: I was thinking maybe stirfry, but I don't know if I have time for all that, because I have sooo much to do!
Him: Oh, I got you.
You: Oh my goodness! I just remembered something! Can I call you right back? What's your number?! (Yes, now you can get his number. But don't use it until you read lesson three!!!!)
So. Now you end the phone call. And think of 3 or 4 things to talk about. Write em down if you have to. I don't care. As long as you hang the dang phone up! Then, wait an hour to call him back. I normally wait a whole day to call back. But if he was that great or you get hooked really easily, fine. An hour. Nothing less. But see, when you wait longer, they tend to feel like you dissed them. And while you may think that is a bad thing, it's not. While he's over here getting his BVD's in a bunch, he's probably wondering what was so much more important than him. They RARELY think anything comes before them. Prove it wrong. (Because no matter how nice he is, he doesn't want to know that you are handwashing your period undies, or any other life story that doesnt give him a chanve to relate. Keep it simple.)
Two things happen here. 1] When you call back, you show him you are interested without putting it in a mushy love letter(I was the PICASSO of the mushy love letter.And I only delivered like two of a million) and 2] He starts realizing that you have things to do. And he is just gonna have to find a way to keep your attention if he wants it so dang bad!!!And when you call back, apologize for the wait. You see, you had to call your girl back because you had to iron out the last details of your plans for the night, and then you had errands to run...blah blah. You are busy. Say it with me now....BUSY.Lol.The important thing is, you didn't forget him altogether. I think its just important that he realizes itll be easy for you to if he doesnt know what's up.
Key Points:
*You are a busy woman. And if you aren't, I would hope this will inspire you to DO something with your time, because you can't be successful and ambitious and reflect that to a guy if you are always doing nothing! Get it together! That, or stop whining about how lazy all your exes were. Who else would have been able to spend all that time doing you dirty? Not a guy who is doing things with his life...that's for sure.
* Make 'em think about you. you may have come off a little rushed and he feels dissed. But oh well! As long as you call back, he's sure to think highly of your time...and want your time! And I'll give them the credit to say that when they want something, they WILL get it. They want what they can't have. Don't make it easy. Time is money. Be worth something.
Til next time! Smooches!!! XOXO
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